5/5/12 Rune Pull and Reality

Today I pulled EIHWAZ from the box.

EIHWAZ - Eihwaz often appears to convey "Go ahead, take the plunge, the risk is worth it in the end." Eihwaz indicates that I have set my sights on a viable (but reasonable) target and am unlikely to encounter defeat. If I do encounter catastrophe, it will be minor and may in fact be to the advantage in the long run. 
     At the same time there is the warning to avoid being overeager and accept my limits to influence the outcomes.  EIHWAZ is a strong predictor that things are turning for the better.  


"This Rune informs you that only through foresight, perseverance, and right action can difficulties be avoided."

I chose to live the day and then reflect back on this.  Watching my day at a distance I can see that it is time to look ahead and through self-direction anticipate the paths that will present before me.
EIHWAZ is a rune of protection.  I will accept this protection the the earth is offering.

The EIHWAZ Runes symbolizes the Yew tree.

Today I saw plenty of places that I can uses this rune as guidance.  I went to a new NA meeting today.  The meeting is held in a house down the street from where I grew up.  This house/organization is looking for skills I have and want to share.  The warning of the rune to avoid being overeager is hard for me, so I was glad the wisom of the earth had shared with me that I may need to watch out for this.  I will heed this rune and reassess my abilities before I move forward.

Recent Rune Pulls

   There are three ways that I use runes, I cast then, pull them or a combination of the two.

ISA RUNE

Casting them is a long reading with that requires more energy.  To cast them I simply scatter them onto my alter cloth and read them how they are presented to me by Mother God.  It seems simple but can be spiritually draining. 

In pulling I am simply taking one from the box and allow it to guide me through the day.  For example, yesterday I pulled the ISA rune.  ISA shows a need to cease activity in certain area of you life.  When I pull ISA I never have to wonder what the area of cessation is supposed to be, I simply know.  ISA speaks to of frustrating delays, but those are only temporary. 

The third way is when I am reading runes for someone else.  In this method I have them pull the required number, usually 3,5 or 7.  They pull them and place them in my hand.  I then cast them in a motion similar to sewing seeds.

WYRD RUNE

So yesterday was ISA, the day before was WYRD. It is pronounce "weird".  WYRD is a blank rune and my first reaction to it is always fear.I guess I have this gut reaction that I am looking into a mirror and a blank one is staring back. 

Ralph Blum says"This is a rune of total trust and should be taken as exciting evidence of your most immediate connection with your own true destiny."  We are talking the cosmic power of fate.

The blank rune is a blank slate to manifest your own destiny.

Dream Scene May 5, 2012

   

 I have always found my dreams vivid an telling.  The reason I took the drugs was to sleep.  I find comfort in sleep and in most cases my dreams.  I can live a thousand lives in my dreams but I can also die a thousand deaths.

      Don't take me wrong I have nightmares.  They are horrific and terrifying... and they are real.  But even the worst help me see things.  For example, after you have drown in your dreams a thousand times at which every time was not painful or scary.  You stop being afraid of the water. My dreams have made me unafraid of death and dying.

I have decided to start reading into my dreams and to us them as a tool for my life.

I dreamed a lot last night but last night, with out sharing detail, there were three themes that seemed central.

Car- Freud--"in psychoanalysis a car is often the symbol for treatment."  He says a slow car is an ironic statement about the slowness of analytical analysis.  OK ?  My car crash into a parked car and I left the scene
     - Jung--sees a car as a symbol for moving away.....can we just say genius.
    In general I feel that the car is symbolizing a transformation.  My sister was in the scene so it bods well for my analysis since my sister and I are growling closer and trying to trans form our relationship.

Shoes- In the dream I have lost one and are looking for another, not another the other one of the pair.
   Shoes are a symbol of grounding and I guess this makes sense since I do seem to be half ground with the life I have and half not because I am looking for a new one.
   It is also said that shoes symbolize protection from the powers of the earth.  Maybe this is way I have always loved to run bare foot,  I don't want to be protected from the earth, I want to be connected to it.

Tools I choose to use

I have decided to revert to things I know work: Spirituality (Runes), Reading, Writing, Crying, Keeping Busy and if necessary a down right hissy fit.

Spirituality:  I am a spiritual person but not a religious one.  When I say a the Serenity Prayer I leave off the "God".  Even the bible recognizes other gods, so I do too.  When I pray it is a conversation with the Mother Earth and Father God.

 I cast and read runes.  I have done so for years but have never shared that with others.  Runes are similar marks of mysterious or magic significance.  These marks are the beginnings of written language and they are everywhere.






The easiest visual example of runes in our surrounding and environments is a Saxon House.





                                                                                                    Notice the shapes of the window panes and the angle of the board and stone.    
                                                                                                       Runes are everywhere in nature Examples are the shapes of the sticks on the ground in frond of you or the tree branches above you.  They are in the cracks of the side walks  and angle of shadow in light,                                        

My set of runes are very similar to those below.  The difference is they are stained with my blood. 

 

I read anything and everything and am taking to writing to get things out of my head.  Crying calms me and being busy is a distraction.  But never under estimate the power of a good hissy fit.

How I got Here

So this isn't a sex ed. lesson about "when a mommy and daddy love each other very much". It is a short who, what, when, why and how I find myself writing this all down.

Who: Essentially Me but in a way Sean, LuLu, Nicole, B-Man, Louie Louie and even NFL (Noraline Faye L)

What: How I Survive A Disease That Wants Me Dead

When: Although the battle has been being waged for years, It is today that I have joined in and starting fighting back.

Why: Because even though I am tired, I am still alive.

How: Hard Work, New Friends, and a Forgiving Family

    This battle began a week ago last Wednesday.  With full consciousness I took 6x the dose of Kolopin I was supposed to.  I justified it and can still partially justify it, it was because of the most recent wonder drug I was started on was making me crawl out of my skin.  I wanted to sleep through the discomfort and 6x my dose of Klonopin worked.  It worked so well that I did it again and again, those three times are all that I remember Bhub. says there was at least one more self medicated sleep.
    Thursday was gone, slept through, but the evening is remember in flashes of hospital gurneys, "blah, blah,blah" nurse speak, lovely matching silver toned bracelets (hand cuffs), a cold shower and exhausted sleep....and the psych ward or as we like to call it Nuts Are Us.
    The psych ward is a well kept secret.  If the world knew what a blast it was to be there more people would be signing themselves in everyday.
    The details of the battle need not all come out now.  What is important is that I survived.  I came home,  I freaked out and wanted back in, but I fought back and am among the living again.