My NA and AA connection

My life around drugs and alcohol has been pretty complicated lately.

About 10 days ago I acted additively and took pills knowing I was taking to much to often and know if left up to me I would simply take more.  I crave there fore I am an addict.

I am choosing to publicly work a program I have been working since October 2005.  Until 10 days ago I had successfully avoided the misuse and abuse of both recreational and prescription drugs.

          My relationship with alcohol has been different.  I never thought it was a problem for me.  I drank socially, I can drink socially.  But I can drink to excess and if I choose that path there are usually unpleasant consequences.  I have been told and have told my patients, It is not what you drink, how much you drink or how often you drink rather it is what happens when you do drink.  So I have decided to choose the path of complete sobriety.

  I have wanted so bad to have alcohol in my life and struggle know with the thought of not having a beer or glass of wine once in a while.  I honestly believe that I can drink and not compromise my recovery.  But I will do my best not to.  Not just my best I will choose not too.





     I went to two meetings today.  AA at 12:00 and NA at 7:00.  I can say both meetings were need and if there were a third and forth meeting today I would go.

Lessons from the AA meeting:
  1) What other people think of you is none of your business
  2) If you are keep a relationship a secret then you probably
        shouldn't be in it
  3) You are as sick as your secrets
  4) Reasonably Content is an OK place to be

My corresponding comments:                                                  
  1) This is so hard for me and I may never be able to let go
         of  my desire to know what they think.
  2) The relationship I have been keeping secret is my sobriety

         it is a relationship that I need to share with those that 

         care.
  3) This is a simple Duh.
  4) I hope I can get there.

 My insight from the NA meeting is that Anger = Fear.

I am angry at myself = I am scared of myself





Just for today my thoughts will be on my recovery, living 
                        and enjoying life without the  
                        use of drugs.
Just for today I will have faith in someone in NA who believes in me and wants to help 
                        me in my recovery.
Just for today I will have a program. I will try to follow it to the best of my ability.
Just for today through NA I will try to get a better perspective on my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid, my thoughts will be on my new associations, people 
                        who are not using and who have found a new way of life. So long as I 
                        follow that way, I have nothing to fear.  Just for today